結束與開始：關於生命選擇的生日思考

在這個特殊的日子裡，我用一整天的行程來標記我的50歲生日。這一天對我來說，不僅是年齡的刻度，更是一場深刻的生命反思之旅——從早上七點半開始，我按照自己的意思安排每一個時刻，而這些選擇最終導向了一個關於生命本身的結論。

一天的行程與觀察

這一天從 M One Cafe 大安開始。在那裡，我親眼目睹了一段安靜的時光——一對年輕男女相隔將近一小時同桌，然後只剩半小時吃東西，沒有交談。這樣的片段觀察，成了整個生日的起點。

接著我前往 Muvie 松仁 Mucrown 看電影 ‘超少女’。這部作品講述了一個星球爆炸後，少女需要傳承活下來、前往地球成為英雄的故事。在虛幻的世界裡，我看見了一種被迫而來的責任。

在北師美術館，我參觀了 ‘遙視’ 展覽。這個展覽讓我感到莫名其妙，不知所云，跨越二樓、三樓與一樓的空間，卻始終無法完全理解。

師大美術館的 ‘共生之華’ 展覽則帶給我不同的體驗。這個展覽讓我看到感動，看到日治或日據前後台日藝術的師承脈絡，是少數如此密集又具深度的優秀展覽。

午後回到汀州稍做梳洗後，我去 Pluus三越前讓敬愛的 Babie 老師修毛。

在 ‘屯屯’ 這間書店兼咖啡店，我點的小食讓我足足等了半小時以上。這家店以水餃聞名，但水餃都破了。

新書發表會與深刻的倫理反思

這一天最關鍵的時刻，是參加報導者的新書發表會，主題是 ‘生命訂製時代’。

發表會涵蓋了 ‘人工’、’代孕’、’第三生殖’ 等核心議題。但我必須坦誠地說，除非與會者具有部分相關知識或了解，否則直接從 Dcard 切入的敘事，確實讓人缺乏框架以完整理解這些議題。

然而，最觸發我深刻思考的，是現場四位報導者作者們的一個問答：在整個產業鏈或生命週期中，最被忽略或忽視權利的是誰？

他們的答案都指向同一個群體：根本沒得決定的『孩子』。

我的結論

聽到這個答案的瞬間，我感到非常不爽。特別是在這樣的背景和脈絡之下，如果各位都認為被生下來的孩子是最被忽略的，那就代表著一個根本的事實：

根本沒有小孩應該被生下來。無論你是生命訂製或不訂製的，當你無法徵求那要被生下者的權益時，你根本沒有資格決定你要不要生。

我在06/24我生日的這一天，得出了這樣的結論。我根本就不想被生下來。從來沒有人問過我的意見，就好像生下來，其他的就是我自己的責任似的。但我的認知很簡單：我沒有要，那就連從頭都不要開始。

關於這一天的意義

我不能夠說，這一天對所有人的意義是如何，但至少今天我照著我自己的意思，請了特休，感覺一點都不浪費。儘管如此，還是有人不停的聯絡、分案和分配工作。

沒關係。這一切，我認為都不需要存在。因為只要我消失了，我就不用有任何不適當的想法了。

最後的祝福

謝謝大家。祝我自己生日快樂，希望大家都能夠繼續快樂下去。而我會在有限的50結束。讓我們繼續看下去……就當作是喜事般的慶祝吧！

English version below

Endings and Beginnings: Birthday Reflections on Life Choices

On this special day, I structured my entire day as a marker of my 50th birthday. This date represents more than just another year of age—it became a profound journey of life reflection. Starting at 7:30 in the morning, I arranged each moment according to my own will, and these choices ultimately led me to a fundamental conclusion about life itself.

A Day’s Itinerary and Observations

The day began at M One Cafe in Da’an. There, I witnessed a quiet moment unfold: a young couple seated at the same table for nearly an hour, then spending only half an hour eating with no conversation. This quiet observation became the opening note of my entire birthday.

Next, I went to Muvie Songrenjiong Mucrown to watch the film ‘Super Girl.’ This film depicts a planet’s explosion, after which a girl must inherit and carry on life, traveling to Earth to become a hero. In this fictional world, I saw a sense of responsibility imposed by circumstance.

At the Taipei Normal University Museum of Fine Arts Beishi campus, I visited the exhibition ‘Remote Viewing.’ This exhibition left me feeling bewildered and mystified, spanning the second floor, third floor, and basement, yet I could never fully comprehend it.

The ‘Symbiosis of Blooms’ exhibition at the Taipei Normal University Museum of Fine Arts offered a different experience. This exhibition moved me deeply, revealing the lineage of Japanese and Taiwanese art before and after Japanese colonial rule. It was one of those rare exhibitions of remarkable depth and density.

After briefly returning to Tingzhou to freshen up, I visited Pluus in front of Mitsukoshi to have my hair groomed by Teacher Babie, whom I deeply respect.

At ‘Tun Tun,’ a bookstore-café hybrid, the small food I ordered required waiting over half an hour. This establishment is known for its dumplings, though they all broke.

The Book Launch and a Profound Ethical Reflection

The most critical moment of the day came when I attended The Reporter’s book launch event on the theme of ‘The Age of Designed Life.’

The event covered core topics including ‘Artificial [reproduction],’ ‘Surrogacy,’ and ‘Third-party reproduction.’ I must be candid: unless attendees possessed some prior knowledge or understanding of these matters, the narrative approach drawn directly from Dcard left people without an adequate framework for comprehensive understanding.

However, what triggered my deepest reflection was a specific Q&A from the four author panelists: In the entire industry chain or lifecycle, whose rights are most overlooked or ignored?

Their unanimous answer pointed to a single group: the ‘child’ who has no say in the matter at all.

My Conclusion

Upon hearing this answer, I felt profound displeasure. Particularly within this context and framework, if all the panelists acknowledged that the born child is the most overlooked party, then it reveals a fundamental truth:

No child should ever be brought into existence. Whether through designed life or undesigned birth, when you cannot seek the consent of the one being born, you have no right to decide whether to procreate.

On June 24th, my birthday, I reached this conclusion. I fundamentally did not want to be born. No one ever asked my opinion—as if being born meant everything afterward was simply my own responsibility. But my logic is simple: since I never consented, the entire enterprise should never have begun.

On the Meaning of This Day

I cannot speak to what this day means for everyone else, but today I arranged things according to my own will, taking personal leave without feeling it was wasted. Yet people continued to contact me, reassign tasks, and delegate work.

It doesn’t matter. I believe all of this need not exist. Because if I simply disappeared, I would no longer need to harbor any inappropriate thoughts.

Final Blessings

Thank you all. Happy birthday to myself. I hope everyone can continue to find happiness. As for me, I will end at fifty. Let us continue and see what comes next…let us celebrate this as if it were a joyous occasion!